Part 1: Definitely Cher (possibly with the exception of the last paragraph regarding appliances). WHY DID YOU STOP THE GAZETTE? What am I going to do? The Letters to the Editor and Op/Ed page just don't translate in the same way online! I have been rationing last week's Amherst Bulletin police reports to get through you needlessly taking away my reading material. Also mom? I don't understand the part about the candles. I hate candles. Candles = clutter. We never burn candles. I haven't burned a candle since I was like 16.
Part 2: Definitely Bernie. After finding blood smears and feathers all over the garage I started locking that sh*t cat out at night if he wouldn't come in. And screw leaving the garage even a little bit open after the Republican Boyfriend's car was broken into on Sunday night. (Sidenote: Really people? REALLY? THIS IS LIKE THE QUIETEST STREET IN AMHERST. I hope they enjoy his hands-free cell phone thing.)
Oh, and the part about the plants. Here are pics of the "five large buckets." Notice the rocks and plywood. I'm not going to lie. I haven't been out there watering anything because I figured the torrential downpours would have taken care of it. And when I went out there to empty Bernie's compost bucket I came back with some tick issues. I moved the sunflowers to the basement as directed. I better go check on those.
Part 3: Definitely Bernie for the most part (the window cleaning and Grandma stuff is All Cher All The Time). I'm glad Bernie informed me that Scott from Plant and Soil may be using our hose. I mean, I may have had to fight him for it.
4 comments:
I don't know how you deal with the Cat leftovers -- I would lose it. These are so great -- I'm so glad you are blogging this!
Thank god they told you to close the windows when it rains! Without their helpful guidance, you most certainly would have left the windows open thereby assisting the rain in the destruction of the Morzuch home.
I love how Cher tells you to clean for the cleaning woman.
Ok, I must echo your frustration with the failure-to-shine of the 413 newspapers online Op/Ed pages. I used to love those things in person. They lose so much in the web-translation. The police reports don't, though. Sometimes when they're excellent, I annotate the online versions and send them to my brother, my parents, Mollie and Kyle. You may be added to the list the next time I find a particular week's reports especially entertaining.
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