Battles between Bernie and Cher

Sometimes, to get Cher off his back, Bernie will post a note with the primary purpose of providing a regular update of his progress on said Cher-prioritized projects. He has yet to fix the lounge chair.

My favorite? "String for sweatpants." Drain treatment also referred to some eco-friendly device he got at the hardware store (we don't use Drano here). Use the garbage disposal in our house around Bernie and fear for your life.*

*It is important to mention that this craziness was recently justified by the Amherst DPW's 2007 water quality report's section on fighting the "grease monster:"

80% of sewer line blockages are caused by FOG (fats, oil and grease) poured down the drain. Grease from cooking can be stored in a can in the refrigerator and thrown in the trash when full. Throw food waste in the trash or compost, not down the drain.

Score: 0 Grease Monster, 1 Bernie