Thursday, April 4, 2013

Not a Bernie Note, but the Thursday Compilation of the Amherst Police Reports is always amazeballs


SUSPICIOUS ACTIVITY
• 9:16 p.m. — People on Kingman Road escorting salamanders across the street were advised to stay out of the travel lanes for their own safety. (In Amherst, migrating salamanders are carried to safety!)

NOISE COMPLAINTS
• 8:32 p.m. — A man who deliberately poured milk over instruments being used by a band performing at a downtown restaurant was sent on his way. (That's just rude, dude.)
• 12:41 a.m. — A guitarist entertaining people outside the downtown bars was warned and sent on his way.
• 1:34 a.m. — A man and woman were found in a verbal altercation outside a North Pleasant Street church. The fight began because they were unwilling to share the only slice of pizza they bought. (Share that Hot Cheese Up Front!)

ANIMAL COMPLAINTS
• 1:27 p.m. — Loose cows roaming in the middle of South East Street were returned to their nearby field.