Thanksgiving a bit late

Ham time!

Pesto in December

Sent home with handmade pesto. Bernie keeps meticulous records:

How I learned statistics (c/o Bernie)

Thank-g-d for three degrees of freedom

Nothing gets me more excited than listening to Bernie explain degrees of freedom, skewness, and kurtosis (plus his legendary distribution diagrams). Especially when re-purposed from a previous Bernie Note.

The last time I was home

It probably only took Bernie 44 hours to fix it.

But I've been married to your father for 30 years

Bernie's been (somewhat) sidelined due to an injury. That doesn't stop him from making sure my mother knows where he is at all times.

=Maps^3

ELM's home from AU for grad school-this means more maps of Lot 65.

The pesto schedule

Uncle Bern makes some mean pesto from his basil. My parents have quite the green thumb-you should have seen the total Hippie Garden back at 66 East Leverett Road. Not sure about the need to record the batches made on the Family Calendar, but should we really be that surprised considering?

Bernie's notes for food

Bernie faithfully labels all food items so that there is on question as to what it could possibly be. Considering everything frozen is wrapped in 44 layers of reused tin foil and plastic ziploc bags, his labeling comes in handy.

An aside: ELM is officially home from AU (at least for 2 years). More Bernie Notes fun sure to come.

The longer we're away, the more things stay the same

Berne makes some mean potato latkes

I come home to the Herst, open the fridge, and find MAGIC BERNIE CREATIONS.

Coco, snow tires, and the bank

Bernie and the Morzuch cars

A car census? I will have to ask EAM about this one.

The Hand Drawn Map Association

Bernie: There exists a HAND DRAWN MAP ASSOCIATION ("an ongoing archive of user submitted maps and other interesting diagrams created by hand"). YES, YES, AND YES.

Apparently, Julia Turner of Slate asked peeps to send her their hand-drawn maps last month. If only I was more on top of things.

Bernie has made many contributions to this field of knowledge in both color-coded visualizations and detailed flash cards. A recap below:

1. This started it all
2. Campus Appreciation Day
3. Oil changes and car inspections
4. Forays into Bernie's office I and II for some running maps
5. More running maps and Bow Lake
6. Written directions to Bow Lake with mileage
7. And an ENTIRE SERIES of the utmost travel directions from the Chicago grandparents to Amherst, MA:

• Notecard 2
• Onto Cleveland
• Interstate signs 'R Us
• Don't go through Buffalo
• "Now my directions become really precise"
• Specifics on toll booths and road conditions
• Better not get on 87
• More toll booths
• Halfway there!
• Avoid HolyJoke and Springfield
• Almost at 91 North
• Northampton exit here we come
• Crossing the Connecticut River
• Advice to Midwestern grandparents on dealing with jerks from Massachusetts
• Route 9
• Almost to the first Smith-Morzuch homestead
• Now passing Kenny O'Neil's house
• Past Cushman and overrrrr the bridge
• The Midwest grandparents have reached North Amherst!

Back to present-day

Battles over the thermostat still going strong.

The Midwest Morzuch Grandparents have reached North Amherst

Here's to 66 East Leverett Road, Elmer, the sledding hill, blueberry bushes, Bernie's amazing leaf/compost pile, my first candy bar care of The Crossman's, and Bernie's Self-Built Fence (still standing). 35 Emily Lane was constructed six years later.

Past Cushman and oooooverrrr the bridge

#19! Who thought the final 1/4 mile could take so long?

Now passing Kenny O'Neil's house!

The old Marks Meadow bus route

Almost to the first Smith-Morzuch homestead

Grandparents Morzuch didn't make a stop at Townhouses. Almost to 66 East Leverett Road!

I think the number of lights on Route 9 have changed since 1981

Color coded!

Advice to Midwestern Grandparents on dealing with jerks from Massachusetts

Bernie forgot to label this one NUMBER 16 (of 20). Getting close!

Crossing the Connecticut River

#14: Almost at the Northampton Exit

1 MILE UNTIL 91 NORTH

Travel directions notecard #11 & 12

Sorry for the post delay! Here's #11 & 12.

Travel directions notecard NUMBER 10

Halfway there!

Travel directions notecard #9 of 20

We're only on #9??? Notice the white-out job.

Travel directions notecard #8 of 20

Travel directions notecard #7 of 20 & the 100th post of Bernie Notes!

Pretty fitting for the 100th Bernie Notes post.

Travel directions notecard #6 of 20

Travel directions notecard # 5 of 20

Travel directions notecard #4 of 20

I'm glad there was an option B.

Travel directions notecard #3

Travel directions notecard #2

The utmost travel directions to MA from the Midwest

I thought I was the one who came up with hole-punched notecards.

A Bernie Notes Travel Directions Series from 1981 (for Grandma and Grandpa Morzuch) for your enjoyment numbered 1 through 20.

Bernie and Coco

Bernie's emails are almost as hilarious as his notes. The obsession with our 22lb permanent foster cat and Coco's potential eye situation is the best.

"Hi, Liz:

This morning, his eye looked okay. (We first noticed the situation with his eye on Saturday morning). Yesterday, for example, it looked okay part of the day and a bit "not okay" for another part of the day. He was out all last night (on his own insistence) and came inside at 5:00a.m. this morning. His eye looked okay at 5:00 a.m. He followed me
around until Mom fed him. He chowed down according to his normal self. When he has these nighttime outings during the winter -- and then makes an appearance the next morning -- he usually sleeps the entire day after coming back in. So, this morning I kept him in the house. I'm looking forward to seeing how his eye looks when I get home. Based on the current situation and what I've been observing, I don't really notice a chronic situation developing. So, I see no need to visit the vet -- yet. I'll keep you posted about any change in his condition.

Love,

Dad"

C/O Emma

ELM sent me a magazine article from AU. You just had to read the first paragraph to know where it was going:

"Lauren Weber's father is, to put it bluntly, cheap. When she was growing up in the cold winters of Connecticut, he refused to turn the thermostat above 10 degrees Celsius. He washed all the dishes by hand, in cold water, [BERNIE AT LEAST USES HOT WATER] even though the family owned a dishwasher . . . She feared that her family was secretly on the verge of bankruptcy. They weren't-her father was, in fact, a professional economist. He didn't lack for money. A lifestyle of extreme thrift simply felt right to him."

Staples stole Bernie's personality

I swear, someone has to have been following around Bernie as inspiration for the latest Staples commercial while he hits every grocery store in town, the post office, Aubuchon Hardware, Costco, or Cowl's. For instance, a play by play of his latest trip to the post office:

Bernie: "Oh, I thought it would be busy in here!"

Post Office Lady: That's because everyone thinks we close at 12:00pm on Saturdays."

Bernie: "OH BOY, I THINK I'M GOING TO GO BACK OUTSIDE AND COME BACK IN!"

http://www.staples.com/sbd/cre/marketing/easybutton/commercials_09_longnight.html

Directions to Bow Lake

Had to have at least been written in 1984. Check the white-out.

More maps!

As kids, EAM, ELM, and I spent a ton of vacays up at Bow Lake in New Hampshire. Even back then, Bernie was a fan of written directions and running maps.

Recreating Bernie & Cheryl's wedding

My goal in life is to have a wedding in the same spirit as that of my parents: simple, unpretentious, a guest list capped at 125, NO BRIDAL SHOWER, and most importantly, everyone has a GOOD TIME.

As Bernie has been cleaning out his voluminous paper files, he so timely stumbled upon the Bernie and Cheryl Wedding Budget. It is pretty awesome, especially the fact that "3 Cases Bud" tops the liquor list. Cheryl thinks the reason the Amherst Women's Club no longer allows liquor (only beer and wine) and requires a bartender is because of their party. I LOVE THEM. They also unfortunately actively enforce their fire code.