Obsession with Coco continues.

All animals love Bernie. ALL. Ruffy and Skipper, the Shelties (we dog-sat, RIP); Greta, the Golden Retriever (RIP); Lex, our Samoyed and Lucy our Golden Retriever (RIP); Walker, our failed Boxer service dog in training (RIP); my guinea pigs Milly and Beavi s (RIP), Crawford the Cat picked up for EAM's birthday (RIP); Neighborhood Catzis (our nickname for Moonbeam who lived next door but really liked us, RIP); and NOW Coco.

Coco sure needs to go outside. He's in winter hibernation mode.

The holiday tree lighting routine

It's that time again:

Things I am grateful for: bullet points and arrows

Things I am thankful for this week, continued

ELM was eating some chocolate and this is what she found the next morning:

Things I am thankful for this week

Coco's obession with the new couch. No one can use it since it is always covered in obstacles to prevent him from making it his new hangout.

Coco 44; Morzuch's 0

My father is quite amazing

So Amherst was not in the minority in terms of losing power whole hog. I am really glad I have a real office with a door when ELM sends me updates regarding Bernie, because sometimes, he really doesn't understand how hilarious he is.

From ELM:

"Do you know what having electricity back means? Record playing. And I mean, full blast, 8 am playing of records from god knows when. I heard, 'Emma, don't be scared,' and he turned it up full blast."


Also: a picture treat

I think Coco needs a spin-off

The first part is a bit difficult to decipher so here goes:

• When you leave, but Coco out. (He's been fed!)
• If it's raining hard, and Coco doesn't want to go out, make sure he has access to the basement.
• I'll be at my office all day. If you are coming over, give a call beforehand so that I don't miss you.

Bernie notes in Morzuch cars

Bernie leaves notes in places where one WILL find them. Especially when it relates to coffee and cars.

Okay, so I didn't recreate my parent's wedding at the Amherst Women's Club, but . . .

They made this possible.

Thank you thank you thank you to my wonderful parents and hilarious sisters.

Plumbing at the Goshen Ocean

Miraculously fixed within 10 minutes. SURPRISE! A top five early wedding present from Bernie. As a great analyst, I am always analyzing key themes within the fam.

The Bernie & Coco the Cat saga continues

I like the addendum in red.

More detergent drama

Does not quite rival Battle of the Tide, but close.

Coco and the Feedbag

Coco does not need to be fed twice in the A.M. I am the one who gets a talking-to when I take him to the vet. Coco has Bernie ensnared in his fat, manipulative paws.

How to get to Lia Honda

Color-coded with arrows indicating where to turn and distance.

Errands for ELM

She gets a heart with an arrow through it! Back on track.

Coco and Spongies

Bernie gives Coco "spongies" (e.g., sponge baths when he comes into the house with his furs all dirty). A side note: ALL animals love Bernie. ALL. Coco starts purring when he gets his spongies.

Family IT needs

EAM, the House IT Woman, was instructed to return to the Herst to set up the new computer. Why no heart with an arrow through it?

How many notes does the thermostat really need?

It is too cold. Fat Coco the Permanent Foster Cat needs the space heater.

Decision rule

On a t-shirt no less. Potentially Bernie's idea for a Halloween costume or to help his students during exam time (?). In any case,  it is still in heavy rotation.

Thermostat wars/instructions: A continuing battle

Instructions re. The Thermostat continues

Exam time!

Bernie has a Very Organized Exam Administration and Tracking Protocol. He also hates stupid excuses for why one cannot take his exam. Believe me, I've heard them all, so JUST DON'T. Stats students take note.

Always prepared

The obsession over Coco accessing the basement now includes a wood block to ensure the door remains ajar. P.S. He got his first Chippie today. Future RIPs to future chipmunks. Run chippies run!

Important Wood Block Door Stopper:

Not a Bernie Note, but almost as funny

Emails from my mother in preparation for the annual Smith-Morzuch Family Spring Break:

On Fri, Mar 11, 2011 at 8:53 AM:

Hi,

Do you have an unbreakable shot glass?

On Thu, Mar 10, 2011 at 11:12 AM:


Hi,

You took home one of my Dansko shoes. I have one of yours and you have one of mine. Please bring my shoe back tomorrow night.

Coco is in, Coco is out

Again, I nearly fell out of my chair when ELM texted this to me. All I can say, is that I cannot WAIT for the Smith-Morzuch Family Spring Break (minus EAM), which commences in T-2 days.

Coco clearly needs the exercise:

=Bernie and Coco^44

Bernie's obsession (see here) with Coco's feeding schedule and whereabouts mount when there is only one daughter living in the house to worry about.

More baking, more problems

Thanks to ELM for texting this to me. I pretty much fell out of my chair laughing. Similar to a popcorn incident back in 2008.

More notes about coffee!

Bernie is always on the look-out.

More thermostat instructions

More instructions for daughters in their 20s on how to use the thermostat. I think the last part refers to Bernie telling my mom he needed to speak with me on the phone about insurance, since you know, I rammed an MBTA bus a few weeks ago.

Email from a close family friend-Subject Line: "Not a Bernie Note"

Bernie's response:

"Say, Everyone:


Each of you has known Bernie for at least 25 years and three months. (Emma is the lower bound here). All of you are familiar with his (1) not-quite-immediate grasp of things which is (2) amplified by his increasing propensity to hear words incorrectly, for some reason. (Get it? Amplified? Hear?) . The result: (1) and (2) are the perfect storm for this to be a Bernie note. I think I have never said this to you, Rich: your are wrong. This is, indeed, a Bernie note, or at least it has great potential for being a Bernie note. The only difference is that, if this were mine, the printing would be much neater."

HAHAHAHAHA

Reasons to love Bernie #44,444

The first Intro to Stats powerpoint slide thanks to ELM. Here's some advice: show up to class, do the Owl exercises, pay attention, ask for help, and don't make stupid excuses about why you missed an exam. 

Also, ELM IS ENGAGED

ELM has found a free-spirit-lovely Australian mate just like herself. I am hoping for a wedding in AUSTRALIA. Welcome to the family Lyndon! Finger and I may end up in Tazmania, or your mother's farm, JUST BECAUSE IT IS NOW A POSSIBILITY.

Updated Bernie lists

I would just like to point out that this 2010 update is essentially an updated note from 2009. I would like to (1) know what is in my savings account (although I will gladly forfeit all savings and interest to Bernie and Cher for emotional wear and tear, plus continued support; (2) the European credit card rebate is from like 2005; (3) the registration for Nice; hotel; and airlines is from at least two years ago; and (4) the haircut is done by Cher.

I LOVE MY PARENTS.