A note addressed to The Matriarch

A note for Cher:

Expect a return at Big Y

Sometimes I feel only my father returns perishable items to grocery stores after he comes home and realizes quality control measures have not been met.

Securing doors

Just in case you were worried, there are TWO notes on each side of the same door. They have been posted since March. Bernie is nothing but methodical.

A Happy Belated Father's Day Post for Bernie

You have got to dry those clothes out somehow:

Even though I am upset that my AAA membership is being cut off (at the age of 30) by June 30th, I still got him a present:

Thank you Bernie! You are amazing. 

Furniture protection

ELM woke up last week to find the following obstacle course in the living room (designed to keep Coco off the furniture). Sometimes I wonder why Bernie just doesn't go All-The-Way Polish and cover everything in plastic zip covers like my grandparents.

OM to the G

Thank you Bernie Student (NZ!). Bernie doesn't know how to read a blog, so my shout out is to you!

I had no idea he dealt with the bathroom in Stockbridge. GO UMASS.

The holiday tree lighting routine

It's that time again:

Things I am thankful for this week

Coco's obession with the new couch. No one can use it since it is always covered in obstacles to prevent him from making it his new hangout.

Coco 44; Morzuch's 0

Plumbing at the Goshen Ocean

Miraculously fixed within 10 minutes. SURPRISE! A top five early wedding present from Bernie. As a great analyst, I am always analyzing key themes within the fam.

Thermostat wars/instructions: A continuing battle

Instructions re. The Thermostat continues

Email from a close family friend-Subject Line: "Not a Bernie Note"

Bernie's response:

"Say, Everyone:


Each of you has known Bernie for at least 25 years and three months. (Emma is the lower bound here). All of you are familiar with his (1) not-quite-immediate grasp of things which is (2) amplified by his increasing propensity to hear words incorrectly, for some reason. (Get it? Amplified? Hear?) . The result: (1) and (2) are the perfect storm for this to be a Bernie note. I think I have never said this to you, Rich: your are wrong. This is, indeed, a Bernie note, or at least it has great potential for being a Bernie note. The only difference is that, if this were mine, the printing would be much neater."

HAHAHAHAHA

Reasons to love Bernie #44,444

The first Intro to Stats powerpoint slide thanks to ELM. Here's some advice: show up to class, do the Owl exercises, pay attention, ask for help, and don't make stupid excuses about why you missed an exam. 

Updated Bernie lists

I would just like to point out that this 2010 update is essentially an updated note from 2009. I would like to (1) know what is in my savings account (although I will gladly forfeit all savings and interest to Bernie and Cher for emotional wear and tear, plus continued support; (2) the European credit card rebate is from like 2005; (3) the registration for Nice; hotel; and airlines is from at least two years ago; and (4) the haircut is done by Cher.

I LOVE MY PARENTS.

Pesto in December

Sent home with handmade pesto. Bernie keeps meticulous records:

=Maps^3

ELM's home from AU for grad school-this means more maps of Lot 65.

Bernie's notes for food

Bernie faithfully labels all food items so that there is on question as to what it could possibly be. Considering everything frozen is wrapped in 44 layers of reused tin foil and plastic ziploc bags, his labeling comes in handy.

An aside: ELM is officially home from AU (at least for 2 years). More Bernie Notes fun sure to come.

Berne makes some mean potato latkes

I come home to the Herst, open the fridge, and find MAGIC BERNIE CREATIONS.

The Midwest Morzuch Grandparents have reached North Amherst

Here's to 66 East Leverett Road, Elmer, the sledding hill, blueberry bushes, Bernie's amazing leaf/compost pile, my first candy bar care of The Crossman's, and Bernie's Self-Built Fence (still standing). 35 Emily Lane was constructed six years later.

Past Cushman and oooooverrrr the bridge

#19! Who thought the final 1/4 mile could take so long?

Now passing Kenny O'Neil's house!

The old Marks Meadow bus route